I Want to Wait

The decision to not have sex is one that may not be easy for you to make. We all have different reasons why we want or don’t want to have sex, but the decision should always be up to you. And if you don’t want to have sex, you’re not alone. About half of teens in this country haven’t had sex when they graduate from high school.

You might feel pressured to have sex before you are ready by your friends or partners, or feel embarrassed or afraid to say that you don’t want to have sex, but I know I respect my friends that make the decision to wait. No one should ever pressure you to have sex if you don’t want to or don’t feel ready, and there can be lots of good reasons to wait to have sex, even if you have already had sex before.

Some people call the decision not to have sex, or delay having sex, abstinence but this word can mean lots different things to different people. Some people use the word abstinence to mean not having vaginal sex, not having any kind of sex (vaginal, oral or anal), or not having any kind of sex until you’re married.  Some people call themselves ‘abstinent’ when they decide not to have sex, even if they have had sex before.  Some people want to wait until marriage before having sex, others just aren’t ready now but they may be in the future.

Learn more: Abstinence

If you need help or advice, it’s important to find someone to talk to who you trust to be open and honest, and give you the right information. Parents, friends, siblings, cousins, a cool aunt or uncle, teachers, religious figures, your doctor and counselors are just some of the people you can go to for advice.

Don’t be afraid to find someone you trust and ask them the questions that are on your mind. I always talk to my Aunt Lucia when I need help.  She’s always open to my questions and doesn’t judge the decisions I make.  I also know that the information I share with her won’t be shared with anyone else—including my parents.

You don’t have to explain your decisions about whether or not to have sex to anyone. If someone asks you, you can just say what you feel comfortable saying. You might feel more comfortable talking about your decision if you practice by saying it out loud a few times first, or writing it down.

Next section: What you need to know

Thomas says:

Feeling the pressure from friends to have sex? I respect my friends that make the decision to wait.